At 62

I read a memoir

I found this sculpture, discarded in a drainage ditch, in East Nashville in 2016.

I have adorned her (blessed her) over the years … perhaps in an effort to “just take care of her.”

Artist unknown

At 62

I read a memoir
written by a young woman.
What can a young woman show me
(that I haven’t already seen for myself)? 
What can a young woman tell me
(that I haven’t already told myself)?
What can a young woman teach me
(that I haven’t already learned for myself)?

I read a memoir
written by a young woman.
I can’t put it down.
The circumstances in her stories
the details in her stories
the names and places in her stories
the events in her stories
are not mine. 

Yet the push
Yet the pull
Yet the tug-of-war
Yet the turning away from self
Yet the shape-shifting into others’ shapes
are recognizable. 

I read the last word.
I set the book down.
And I cry and cry.
For her.
For me.
I climb into my bed
even though it is midmorning. 
I cover myself with my weighted blanket.
(Its job is to hold me unconditionally. 
Body, mind, heart.
It never fails.)
And I cry and cry some more.
For her.
For me.

And I hear these words from Somewhere,
“Just take care of yourself.” 
Plain and clear.
“Just take care of yourself.”
I say them aloud.
And I do.
I just take care of myself. 

I read a memoir
written by a young woman. 
What can a young woman show me
(that I haven’t already seen for myself)? 
What can a young woman tell me
(that I haven’t already told myself)?
What can a young woman teach me
(that I haven’t already learned for myself)?
“Just take care of yourself.” 
"Just take care of yourself."
Amen. 

by Ellen Gabardi
July 2026

If you're curious:  The memoir is Split the Baby by Lauren Rhoades.

The spoken version is below:

I hope you’ll consider subscribing to Containers To Hold It All. It’s free.

Simply click the button below:

I hope you’ll consider sharing Containers To Hold It All.

Simply click the button below:

Hello Everyone Everywhere. Hello Anyone Anywhere. Hello Someone Somewhere.

Welcome to Containers To Hold It All.

What does that title mean? It means this:

I’m forever trying to make sense of It All, but I’m coming to the conclusion that creating containers-of-words to hold It All is plenty enough for now.

*Feel free to copy-and-paste my writings — to save for yourself or to share with others. If you do share, please include my name. :)

*Intentionally, there is no place for communal comments. I offer this as a quiet space for all so you can hear what you hear.

(But if you want to share something with me, hit the Reply arrow or e-mail me at egabardi444@gmail.com. I’m always receptive to others’ ponderings.)

*To access Archives of my previous posts, click here:

https://ellengabardi.substack.com/archive

Love,

Ellen